del.icio.us
reddit
digg
Good In Bed
You can't be THAT insecure if you're willing to put it in a song, now, can you? And no, this isn't going to help dispel any rumors I'm Canadian. I'm not, really!
Lyrics:
Ball point pen on the pillow
Papers spread on the sheets
I've been writing letters to grandma
For three straight weeks
Grandma, how's the garden growing
How's the Milton Berle
I've been trying Kathy's plan out
But there's still no girl
The last time Kathy came over
She ate her pizza cold
Said, "it's over sweetie"
So we went out and bowled
She threw a strike
I missed my spare
She smiled, "don't worry, darling
One day you'll get there"
Next time I'll know exactly what to do
Next time the girl will want to stay
Next time I'm going to be good. In. Bed.
A dozen former stray cats
From the foot to the door
They purr on the comforter but
They don't comfort me any more
It's not that I'm allergic
Even though I am
It's a sound that Kathy never
Made when we listened to Wham!
Next time I'll know exactly what to do
Next time the girl will want to stay
Next time I'm going to be good. In. Bed.
Kathy said, "A gentleman would never tell"
But I've been good in bed for three straight weeks
Kathy said, "A gentleman would never ring
his own bell", but I've been good, so good, so
Good.
At night before I go to sleep
I write a check
To people feeding hungry
children in Quebec
When I wake, I make one out
A.C.L.U.
I pray for peace, my parents
And my country too
If you see Kathy, tell her
That I say hello
Thanks for the good advice and
'94 Merlot
Tell her I'm so much better
Tell her I'm great
But be discreet, don't tell her,
Don't insinuate
Next time I'll know exactly what to do
Next time the girl will want to stay
Next time I'm going to be good. In. Bed.
