July 10, 2018 · Florence Leningrad Roller Derby Twilight Zone Kanamits 2010s Wagner Verdi National Parks

Advent Calendar Girl

Who knew that I had it in me? Too few adventures in my history.
She opened up a door I didn't know I had,
Now my passport's getting stamped from Florence all the way to Leningrad[1]

She promised something raucous, it's Christmas in August
Gonna see my advent calendar girl!

On new year's eve we watched a marathon of Serling
We figured out just what the Kanamits were serving[2]
She showed me darkness even in the words to Mmm Bop[3]
We communicate in quotes from Hamilton & hip-hop

She taught me all the rules to playing roller derby
You hum a couple bars, she says it's Wagner or it's Verdi
Here's a selfie of us at another national park
She does things at noon I never dreamed of doing after dark

Who knew that I had it in me? Too few adventures in my history.
She provides the rocket fuel, I'm the launching pad,
Now I'm swimming back to shore, getting fit for an Olympiad[4]


  1. Much like the Sears Tower will never truly feel right as Willis, there's something about St. Petersburg that is difficult for me and many others to relate to. ↩︎

  2. Man. It was a cookbook. The horror! ↩︎

  3. And when you get old and start losing your hair / Can you tell me who will still care / Can you tell me who will still care?
    Shit, guys, you were super young to have been so jaded! Plus, your hair is beyond amazing. ↩︎

  4. In the first draft, this was "I'm barking on all fours, crawling through a cave in Carlsbad." 🤔🤔🤔 ↩︎