March 29, 2015 · Leningrad acupuncture Bangles kittens math statistics

Box of Kittens

We must have been doing it wrong,
Heather and me on the couch all summer
Tried every room in the house;
The slide in the park;
The roof in the sun

But every morning she'd wake up fantastic
Heather would swear at the stick and curse the math [1]

Tried every trick in the book
Acupuncture, gravity, and herbal therapy
She turned off the cellphone she kept in her blue jeans
She'd read all about the bad radiation

Every morning she'd wake up fantastic
Heather would swear at the stick and curse the math

I tried to be extra, super-supportive
I took all my tests, and I brought home a present
Heather looked down at her new box of kittens
She said, "very cute, but not as cute as what I wanted!"

Every morning she'd wake up fantastic
Heather would swear at the stick and curse the math

Heather wanted someone she could give a name to,
Someone who came into her bed in the middle of the night
Heather wanted someone she could take a nap with
Someone to adapt her ridiculously serious life
Someone to sing the oh's in Manic Monday[2]
Someone who would one day name her right back

We must have been doing it wrong,
Heather and me on the couch all winter


  1. It turns out the math is actually quite complicated. ↩︎

  2. The Bangles version, not the Prince/Appolonia6 version. ↩︎