March 28, 2015 · 2000s Dire Straits Fruvous Star Wars beer sitcom

Creator

When you hear a song in your new friend's room, does it start on a chord that sounds minor to you?
That's how you tell it's an important song
When you hear a song in your girlfriend's room, does it mention a president or Sultans of Swing?[1]
That's how you tell that the songwriter's deep
When you hear a song on the satellite, does the singer sing lyrics you never saw coming?
That's how you tell it's a brilliant song

I'm your creator of folk songs, it's my job to know

When you see a man on the TV screen, does he dress real sharp, is his tie real blue?[2]
That's how you tell that the man is someone you can trust
When you see his wife on the TV screen, does she say all the same things he says only softer?[3]
That's how you tell he's an honest man
When you see the man at the podium, does he say, "let me tell you what happened and when?"
Then you've been given the facts of the case

I'm your creator of folk songs, it's my job to know

When you come to my show, pay attention to all of the banter[4] between all the verses and choruses,
That's how you stay up on current events
If I go out on tour and I never come back, don't be scared, you can listen to bootlegs
You got off the Interwebs, they'll tell you what to do (next)[5]

When you fall in love, really fall in love
If you're feeling rejected, just keep trying harder
Your love is special, it's destined to be
When you fall in love, if it's really love, everything will work out!
Don't believe me? Just check out the movies or sitcoms or beer ads for proof

I'm your creator of folk songs, it's my job to know


  1. I see what you did there.
       -- you, probably ↩︎

  2. This is actually a thing. ↩︎

  3. LA Times dubbed this move The Tammy, after the Tammy Wynette song, Stand By Your Man. ↩︎

  4. A.V. Club has their Top 15 list for this. Steve Poltz and Moxy Früvous were my personal inspirations. The banter was such a big part of Früvous shows that there are entire tracks devoted to it on Live Noise. ↩︎

  5. Giving credit where credit is due... Steve Poltz suggested that I throw the word "next" in there, and it was a huge improvement. Thanks, Steve! ↩︎