March 28, 2015 · 2000s Turks and Caicos Cuba coffee sushi Justin Timberlake math calculus

Lullaby in Overdrive

My baby's girlfriend Zora has an island house
Halfway between Havana and Fort Lauderdale[1]
She sends an airplane and a rocket and a bus
To bring her playgroup over for her crazy baby games

By two they're drinking coffee,
Eating sushi long before they're five
These babies won't stop growing up
So put your lullabies in overdrive

My niece's favorite band is *N S Y N C[2]
She shakes her head when I ask "CSN&Y?"
She says she'd die if she could wrestle JT[3]
And smiles an awkward smile when I burst into Fire and Rain

Her iPod has Maroon[4]
It has no Jackson Five
These babies won't stop growing up
So put your lullabies in overdrive

My lover's lover's baby's teacher sings a song
I can't believe that baby even goes to school
His second birthday is the first day of July
If he gets homework, I'll just write a note and take him to the beach

By six they're multiplying,
Pretty soon, we'll teach them to derive[5]
These babies won't stop growing up
So put your lullabies in overdrive


  1. Technically, it was due East of Havana
    ↩︎

  2. I learned a lot reading this relatively hard-hitting piece on the relative career arcs of Timberlake and Chasez, courtesy Billboard. ↩︎

  3. Whom would YOU choose?
    JT #1
    or
    JT #2 ↩︎

  4. There was a time when I assumed Maroon 5 was a University of Chicago band. ↩︎

  5. Ah, PG-13-rated math humor. When you give up on pop stardom, the possibilities expand considerably. Exhibit B in my repertoire: Interview With The Rock Star. ↩︎