April 5, 2016 · 2010s Richter shark Neil Young giraffes Jay-Z 99 problems

Natural Disaster

Megan was an 8, measured on the Richter scale[1]
She left cracks in my foundation
She delivered aftershock after aftershock

She was a natural disaster,
She left echoes and echoes of you.

Sarah was a shark circling swimming pool
She had ways of pulling me under
She left bite marks where my scars had been

Heather was a heat wave followed by a thunderstorm
She was lightning in the darkness
She started wildfires and she let them burn

Nature has a funny sense of humor sometimes
Just check the platypus and the panda and the horny giraffe[2].
Someday you'll meet someone who's a typhoon or a hurricane or an avalanche or mudslide[3] and you'll know what to do

Could I be the sixth on your lengthy conquest list?
I have issues and one hundred problems[4]
But when our worlds collide, I just want to sing

I'm a natural disaster
I want echoes and echoes of you


  1. I see what you did there. ↩︎

  2. Seriously, what's up with giraffes? ↩︎

  3. Any similarity between this song and Bloomington is mostly unintentional. More an hommage than a theft. I'm not quite prepared to go the Sam-Smith-Tom-Petty route to get a co-writing credit with Stuart Ransom Miller. ↩︎

  4. Ironically, Tony Lucca's is the version of this song I'm most familiar with. The Sundays' Wild Horses and Steve Poltz's version of Waterfalls fall into the same category. ↩︎