March 28, 2015

Party Anthem (Anti-Aircraft Fire over Ontario)

The Americans are coming to save us
Anti-aircraft fire over Ontario
It was a matter of time

Schoolchildren in Saskatchewan
Your assignment for tomorrow: draw a flag
With a fifty-first star

Last night of freedom in Canada
First night of party in Canada

Let it all hang out
Have yourself a good time
For no apparent reason whatsoever

Sidewinders aimed at the Saddledome
Bare-naked ladies[1] on the run
They won't last one week

The crowds are chanting, "Vive Chrétien[2]!"
Regime change can be so much fun
They're going to do it again and again and again and again and again

Last night of freedom in Canada
First night of party in Canada

Let it all hang out
Have yourself a good time
For no apparent reason whatsoever

Seven hundred samurai[3]
could not protect us,
George's will be done

Lay down your weapons at the Minnesota border
When it's over, everyone will get a voucher for a shiny, new black gun

Fire up your final joint,
Pledge your allegiance to your ruthless queen
For the very last time

They're sending Ryan Adams
Over to kick Bryan Adams' ass
That's the way it should be[4]

Last night of freedom in Canada
First night of party in Canada

Let it all hang out
Have yourself a good time
For no apparent reason whatsoever


  1. Or BNL, you choose. ↩︎

  2. Prime Minister of Canada from 1993-2003. ↩︎

  3. I literally searched for a widescreen edition of Seven Samurai for months after first seeing it at the Kurosawa festival put on by Chicago's Music Box Theater. Turns out there is no 16:9 version, it just looks epic. ↩︎

  4. See [http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/73723/fulks-invites-fans-to-heckle-ryan-adams](this Billboard article) for a deep dive on the controversy. ↩︎