March 29, 2015 · Montessori Mo Willems Knuffle Bunny waterboarding hot dogs mojitos divorce

Practice Divorce

I have peanut butter fingers, now I can't unlock my cellphone
It's the Montessori[1] calling, has there been another incident?
You have 40 hours to prepare for your practice divorce!

I hear crying from the rafters, there's a chicken in the blender
Why is Oliver in handcuffs? Where did you learn about waterboarding?!?
You have 30 hours to prepare for your practice divorce

Diaper creme has been my constant companion for a year or two too long
Honey, could you help me find my short skirt?
I have 27 hours and I'm busy packing lunches to go

Here's the babysitter's number, you know how to find the doctor
Don't forget who has which allergies, if you get desperate feed them hot dogs
You have 13 hours to prepare for your practice divorce

Knuffle Bunny's[2] been my constant companion for a year or two too long
I just need a couple hours in a club
Where the bass is thumping and mojitos appear on their own

There are cheetos in the chimney, why is Oli still in handcuffs?
Just how long have they been sleeping? Do you think we have an hour?
Burn some candles and prepare for the payoff for your practice divorce


  1. Fun fact, the US Patent Office determined that Montessori, like Xerox and Kleenex, has a generic and/or descriptive significance. Look for the AMI or AMS seals of approval! ↩︎

  2. I was relieved to learn that there's no right way to pronounce "Knuffle". ↩︎