March 29, 2015 · 2010s California rhyme Mariachi Oliver Andromeda Tucson cars

Rodeo Clown

If you don't have a clever opening line,
You can still write a song that most people will like
Say a boy met a girl, drove out to California,
Danced in the rain, couldn't breathe when she left
Rhyme night with fight/light/right
Rhyme fly with sky/die/try
There, that's a pretty good song

Oliver, I will admit that our song needs some edits before we can call it our own
Say a boy met a rodeo clown up in Tucson
Danced in the rain, couldn't breathe[1] when she left
Rhyme night with light/right/sight
Rhyme fly with sky/cry/high
Darn, that's a mighty fine song

One other thing we should change in our song
Is that nobody likes to get wet in real life[2]
Say a boy met a rodeo clown up in Tucson
Danced as the Mariachi band played a waltz[3]
Rhyme night with fight/light/right
Rhyme fly with sky/die/try
Shoot, that's a spankin' good song

Oliver, I will reveal to you most of my secrets
Love is something you will feel in your lungs and your stomach
The look in her eyes could be hay fever or a hangover
And if you're unsure of the sound of your song, the easy and hard fix is to have it sung by a girl

Stop me if you think you've heard this before,
It's my latest hit song that I know you will like about
A rodeo clown and a boy up in Tucson
They dance as the Mariachi band plays a waltz
That night they made love underneath the Andromeda
Sky as the meteors fell to the ground
Craters formed all around, As the astronauts frowned
And the dinosaurs drowned, And the regency crowned
By the prophets profound...


  1. A good chunk of this song was inspired by a Slate article where the author calls "I can't breathe" pop's lamest lyric. ↩︎

  2. This was the one thing that always bugged me about songs that rely on rain-dancing to demonstrate passion, even songs I love (e.g. Ralph Covert's lovely Small Grey Rain). ↩︎

  3. Just like it does in Old Mexico by Jeff Vezain. ↩︎