December 3, 2014 · Walgreens Vernon Hills Mona Lisa Nick and Julie curmudgeon

The Boy Who Married The Girl Who Saved The Duckling

It was a little too little to be walking around the Walgreens parking lot
It was a smidge too small to be so far from its momma
Julie picked it up, she held it warm and tight[1]

Julie married the boy who married the girl who saved a duckling
It seemed like the right thing to do

According to the Internet, a growing duckling needs its protein
Julie put some chickpeas and a cube of tofu[2] on a plate
According to cartoons, cats eat ducks
So Riggs was locked downstairs and she turned out the light

Julie married the boy who married the girl who saved a duckling
It seemed like the right thing to do

Julie carried the duckling to the Vernon Hills preserve
She found some older ducks who looked responsible
Julie cupped her hands as she knelt down to the shore

Julie married the boy who married the girl who saved a duckling
It seemed like the right thing to do

She wasn't going to save the world one duckling at a time
She wouldn't be the fowl Mother Theresa
But somewhere up in Illinois, there's a duck who's tasted key lime pie
It quacks, "that Julie, she's as pretty as the Mona Lisa"

He was a little too old to be worrying about the gray hair on his head
He was a little too young to have turned to a curmudgeon
Julie sat beside him on the bench by the oak
She put her hand in his and everything was alright

Julie married the boy who married the girl who saved a duckling
It seemed like the right thing to do
Julie married the boy who married the girl who saved a duckling
It seemed like the smart thing to do


  1. True story, as related by NK... ↩︎

  2. ...except for this detail, which I had to change. For the children. You don't want to know what they really fed that poor duckling. ↩︎