March 28, 2015

Waiting For History

If it wasn't for the circumstance in which they met
Carol would be telling all her friends about the pizza boy
She'd be telling everyone about the way he makes her pie[1]

If it wasn't for the speed with which he struck her car
Carol would have made it home, read a Jackie Collins book
Closed her eyes and seen herself in Borneo with Fabio
Walking in the sand, smoking contraband, but she won't take his hand

She's waiting for history to come true
Waiting for a funny story they can tell their grandkids when they're through
Waiting for history to come true

Carol and the pizza boy are sitting in his living room
Lava lamps are burning, Kind of Blue[2] is on the stereo
Carol's drinking zinfandel, sinking in his easy chair

If it wasn't for the way the wine would make her talk
Carol would have never said those things about the government
How she wanted to be famous, how she wanted to be held
On her wedding day, in sunny Santa Fe, it's in her DNA

She's waiting for history to come true
Waiting for a funny story they can tell their grandkids when they're through
Waiting for history to come true

Two kids, an Irish setter, a house with a garage
And if her plan worked any better, she'd spend here evenings knitting sweaters,
writing letters to Eddie Vedder, her Congressman-at-large[3]

If it wasn't so embarrassing to kiss him then,
Carol would have walked across the room and looked him in the eye
Put her hand behind his neck, felt his stubble on her cheek

If it wasn't for the lightning and the thunderstorm
Carol would be walking home, filling out her date report
Plugging all the details in her private secret formula
The length of the commute, he looks good in a suit, but something won't compute

She's waiting for history to come true
Waiting for a funny story they can tell their grandkids when they're through
Waiting for history to come true


  1. Noun? Verb? You decide, but try not to be a horrible person. ↩︎

  2. Ah, Miles Davis. Could there be better mood music than this record?
    ↩︎

  3. Highly unlikely scenario, given his Green Party record and not being a resident of Minnesota. ↩︎