The annotated GIB liner notes.

The annotated GIB liner notes.
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Thanks and acknowledgements, in no particular order: Brandon Foster, Steve Poltz, Tim Bluhm, Steve Perron, Murray Foster, MACR, Ralph Covert, LNR, Jeff Vezain, OMR, my mom, Tucson Dave, my dad, EVR, Heather Krischel, David Pierce, Peter Mulvey, Rich Mullen, WRC, The Wolf, Brothers K, WXRT, KDHX, Thomas Cray, JRN, Southern Yosemite Mountain Guides, Old Town School of Folk Music, Obama, the Lingnaus, Mr. Mularski, Ms. Minkoff, Risa S, Nevin's, Cafe Mozart, Jim Brice, Kurt Roemer, Steve Lackey, John L, Nick K, Clay V, Linda H.

Listen to this if you're into R-rated songs masquerading as PG-13. Best rhyme: unholy/guacamole.

Listen to this if you're melancholy about the last relationship but optimistic about the next one. Best inner rhyme: sent / central defenses.

Listen to this if you think that breaking your own rules is occasionally a good idea. Best rhyme: weak/mystique.

Listen to this if you think that the difference between a good pickup line and a creepy one is how attractive you find the other person. Best rhyme: free will / fulfill.

Listen to this if you think one of our most important roles as parents is to teach our children how to navigate a world that doesn't owe them anything. Best reference to self: Sultans of Swing.

Listen to this if you liked They Might Be Giants before your kid did. Best euphemism with a nod to Jonathan Richman: last girlfriend.

Listen to this if you appreciate double-entendre and generosity in the boudoir. Best rhyme: cold/bowled.

Listen to this if you've ever gone away to Vegas for a strictly-girls weekend. Best alliteration: cheetos in the chimney.

Listen to this if your friend bet you that a PG-rated song about BDSM can't be written but you still want to win. Best rhyme with a gratuitous use of a French word: serve / hors d'oeuvre.

Listen to this if you've ever pined for someone you thought was way out of your league. Best inner rhyme that could have been awfully trite but was saved at the last minute, with increasing number of syllables: bars / The Cars / Jefferson Starship.

Listen to this if you've never been invited to spend the week on a Caribbean island but your kid has, and you're more than a little bit jealous. Of a 1-year-old. Best anagram: N*S*Y*N*C/CSN&Y.

Listen to this if you've ever completely missed the signs of a flirtatious come-on, or if you think Halloween is wrecked by plastic, mass-produced disposable costumes. Best edit: grades.

Listen to this if you find the execution, but not the idea, of John Mayer's Fathers/Daughters song underwhelming. Best rhyme: wide-eyed / tie-dyed.

Listen to this if you know that a minaret can be a mountain, too. Best extended rhyme: get / minaret / wet.

Listen to this if you'd like to learn about editing a song, but don't have the time to sign up for some stupid, weeks-long class. Best inner rhyme: hayfever / hangover.